


Call me mmmmmaybe

by mistressterably



Series: One offs - Doctor Who related [16]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:25:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistressterably/pseuds/mistressterably
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A FB friend asked if I could write something based no the doctor and a drunk call. Here it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call me mmmmmaybe

Liquid sloshed from the bottle and into the glass on the table. Well, most of it anyway. The Doctor sucked off the drops that had splattered onto his fingers. A satisfied noise rose from his throat in appreciation of the taste and the effects. The bar he sat at was teeming with assorted species. Not that he cared. Not today. It was a month ago now that he had said goodbye to Clara and went on to travel alone. 

It’s not that he hated to travel on his own. He did it often enough. Travelling on his own meant he could be more daring, take more risks. It also meant that he couldn’t share the beauty with someone. That he hated. Not sharing. More of the liquid found it’s way into the glass. The Doctor wasn’t even consciously registering the act of drinking any more. Until he missed his mouth and it ran down his chin and onto his t-shirt. Glancing down at the stream of liquid being absorbed into the fabric, he ran a finger along it and tracing the outline. It started to go out of focus a bit. 

A shrug of his shoulders and he tipped the rest of the drink into his mouth, proud at aiming right this time, and swallowed. The burning hit his stomach and the warmth spread quickly into his blood and then to his brain. The Doctor began to hum happily, swaying on his bar stool. He poured again and lifted the glass to nothing. Blinking rapidly he peered into the glass. He screwed up his face and tipped the glass over, again nothing. The bottle got tipped over next, direct into his gaping mouth. A few drops ran down his tongue and he greedily swallowed them. Then .. nothing.

‘Hmm.’ He shrugged again. Accepting his fate. The barkeep said nothing to him but scooped up the empty glass and bottle. Leaving him nothing. With a flick of his legs he spun round the stool at least three times round before it stopped. The room spun for a while yet for him before he could get to his feet. Still humming happily, he got up and began to weave through the crowd. 

Out in the street, he wobbled as he walked. He really had no idea where he was going. Didn’t really care, to be honest. Just happy to hum and walk. Until a pole stopped him, pushing him backwards and onto his rear. ‘That’s better.’ He mumbled. ‘Not swaying much now.’ He stared up at the bright star just above him. ‘S’bright.’

He blinked some more and then covered his eyes. ‘No.’ He said, shaking a finger at the light. ‘No. No.’ He repeated the word and began to frantically search his pockets. ‘Don’t gotta be ‘lone.’ He kept searching until he found the mobile phone. The Doctor scrunched one eye closed and focussed his other on the screen. The first number he dialled was a wrong number and he just happily said sorry after listening to a long tirade about being disturbed for nothing. 

‘Oops.’ The Doctor tried again, his eyebrows bunching together in his attempts to concentrate. Then he grinned as the line connected. 

‘Who is this?’ Missy’s voice was sharp.

‘Mmmissy.’ The Doctor purred at the sound of her voice. ‘Ol’ friend. Knew you wouldn’ be deaaaaaaaad.’

‘Doctor?’ 

‘Mmmisssssy.’ He drew out her name again, humming it at the end. The Doctor was writing her name in the air with his finger. Or that is what he thought he was doing. ‘What you doin?’

‘I was about to go and see about acquiring a new piece of tech from one of my contacts.’ Missy said. ‘Do I dare ask why you are calling me?’

‘I’m lonely,’ The Doctor said. ‘And you aren’t dead.’

‘Of course I’m not dead!’ She laughed at him. ‘Although I thought you’d be glad to see me that way finally.’

‘Nooooo, not you. Not Mmmmmissssy.’ He slurred her name. ‘Don’t want you dead.’

‘That’s a relief. Now, I am busy.’

‘Too busy for me?’ The Doctor sulked. 

‘Doctor! Are you propositioning me?’ Missy smirked. ‘It’s been a long time since you wanted to play that way.’

‘Mmmmissyy is a woman now.’ The Doctor tried to sit up, realizing that there was a rock digging into his shoulder. ‘D’you know where I am?’

‘You’re using a mobile with standard UPS. I can track you easily.’

‘Come ‘n get me!’ He said. 

‘You are drunk, aren’t you Doctor?’ Missy asked him.

‘Mmmvery. Drank a whole bottle of Steeped Honey from .. from.. ah.. wherever. But you know it’s good.’

Missy was laughing but was setting the co-ordinates that she pulled off his mobile signal. 

By the time the Doctor heard the sound of her TARDIS materializing, he had managed to sit up and was struggling to keep the mobile phone gripped in one hand, his other hand trying to grasp the light pole that had knocked him over and a mysterious third hand that didn’t exist to push himself up off the ground. It surprised him that he wasn’t able to stand up.

Missy, having previously changed into a pair of black leather trousers and a white shirt, with a short black leather jacket (she had been going to one of her favourite rough planets after all to buy the parts she needed to update her favourite tissue compressor), strode from the alleyway she’d parked in and stood over him. Her low heeled boots were about the only thing he could really focus on until she squatted down to look at him directly. ‘Well, well, well. A very drunk Doctor.’

‘Mmmmisssy. You look mmmmarvelous.’ He giggled at his own words. ‘Mmmarvelous Mmmissy. Mmmmake me happy...’ He touched her face with his fingers but almost hitting her with the edge of the mobile phone that he still gripped tightly. 

‘Now, why would I want to make you happy? You were going to kill me the last time we met.’

‘Me? Kill you?’ He shook his head. ‘Never!’

‘Clara wanted you to kill me.’ 

‘Clara wanted lot’s things.’ He blinked his eyes, trying to focus on Missy. ‘But she left me. Couldn’t make me happy. She wanted Danny to make her happy.’

‘Aw, your little human didn’t give in to you?’ 

‘Nooo, she didn’t. S’okay though. You’ll make me happy.’

‘You didn’t answer my question.’ 

‘You want to make meeee happy.’ The Doctor grinned at her, ’Because I can make Mmmmissy happier.’

Missy smirked again. ‘Just like the old days? I’m a woman now.’

‘Mmmmakes you more happy then.’ The Doctor let the mobile drop from his hand as he reached for her. Missy took his hand instead and hauled him up off the ground. With a drunken wobble he leaned towards her. ‘You want me to be happy?’

‘Not necessarily.’

‘Course you do. Just like old days.’ His eyes were half closed, not bothering to try and focus on her. ‘You remember don’t you?’

‘Of course I do.’ She pushed him towards the pole, tilting him against it for a moment while she picked up the dropped mobile. Missy tucked it back into his pocket. ‘You weren’t drunk at the time though.’ 

‘Drunk.. sober.. still mmmmake you happy.’ He pushed away from the pole and came close to toppling into her and knocking her over. Missy, stranger than most thought she would be, easily stopped him and kept him upright. 

‘You have your hopeless moments Doctor. This is one of them.’ Missy shook her head, laughing lightly as he wobbled. ‘Sure it was one bottle only?’ 

‘They only had one.’ He held back a belch. ‘Big one.’

‘May as well have had three then.’ Missy knew very well what he’d been drinking. ‘Come on then. My TARDIS is closest and we can sober you up there.’

‘Mmmmake Mmmmmissy happy too!’ He grinned and leaned his face close to hers. ‘Jus’ like ol’ days.’

‘Now wouldn’t that be fun.’ Missy rolled her eyes. 

‘Yessss.’ He drawled. 

Back at Missy’s TARDIS, she manoeuvred him inside and sat him down in one of the Victorian style armchairs. Without asking, he quickly loosened his boots and kicked them off. His burgundy socks were a bright counterpoint to his black trousers. The Doctor rolled his neck around, making it crack out loud. Missy, having fetched some tea for the two of them, stepped over to him and handed him the cup. She stood and watched him just breathe in the steam. 

The Doctor patted his lap.’C’mere. Comfy.’

‘Not from what I recall in the past.’ Missy smirked at him. 

‘I got thighs now!’ He rubbed the meaty, thick thighs that he’d got with his current regeneration. ‘Not fat though. Comfy!’ 

Missy gave in and sat down on his lap. ‘Impressive.’ She wriggled her butt on his thigh, getting into the most comfortable position. For the moment. ‘That has improved. Anything else got bigger?’

‘Mmmmissy, you’ll find out if you want to mmmmake me happy.’ The Doctor giggled at his own joke, which only he knew was a joke. ‘Oh!’ His eyes went wide as Missy reached her hand down between his legs and gave him a squeeze.

‘Promising.’ She said, suggestively pecking him on the nose. 

‘Oh.’ His head spun a little at the feeling of her grip on his growing erection.

‘Liking that, Doctor?’ Missy kept rubbing him through his trousers. 

‘Mmmmyes.’ He smiled happily, like a cat being spoon fed cream.

‘What did you have in mind to make me happy then?’ Missy prompted him, not letting up her massaging of his groin. 

‘Keep tha’ up.’ He said, eyes almost completely closed now from the pleasure. ‘’S’good.’

‘Of course it’s good.’ Missy purred in his ear. ‘I know what you like.’

‘Mmmyes.’ The Doctor ran his hand around her waist, the fingers stroking the soft leather of her jacket. ‘Mmmmake you happier.’ He tilted his head and pressed his nose against her neck, his lips sucked lightly on her skin. His other hand unzipped the front of her jacket and then started to work it’s way underneath. His touch was felt by her through the crisp starched white of her blouse. Her nipples hardened as his fingertips teased her body. ‘Happier now.’ He murmured as he kept teasing the points into an aching stiffness. ‘Like me.’

‘Like you.’ Missy responded, squeezing him harder just to make him shudder.

‘Mmmmyessss.’ He agreed even as his fingers started to unbutton her top. The Doctor spread her top open and then unhooked her bra. ‘MMmmmnice.’ He muttered before he moved his lips down and drew one of her hard nipples into his mouth, sucking on it. His tongue flicked over it making her moan. He could feel her hand in his hair, pressing him harder against her.

Missy, enjoying herself, loosened the zip of his trousers and eased his erection out to pump it properly. The rougher she got the more he worked on her nipple. With a tug, she moved his head to her other breast. ‘Much better.’ She said, comparing how this had felt from her previous male regenerations to now. 

‘Mmmmm better.’ His lips hummed against her skin when he spoke. 

‘Fuck me,’ She told him, pulling him away from her breasts. She got off his lap and expected to sit down in the chair when he got up but instead he was grabbing her by the arm and backing her up to the console of her TARDIS. Pinning her against it, his hard member twitching, he was working her leather trousers down just far enough for him to press into her. 

The Doctor was rough with Missy, the way she liked it. It was also something he wanted right then as well. As he thrust hard into her, her backbone hit against the edge of the console. It gave her the sharp edge of pain that she loved. His teeth scratched against her shoulder as he kept the pace going. The familiar tension in her muscles and the thrumming of her heartbeats were the signal he knew from lifetimes past. Thumbs dug into her hips, holding her tight as he slammed as hard as he could into her to trigger her orgasm. Pricks of pain in his back where her fingers dug into him made him grunt.

Missy laughed, that post-sex seductive sound that he remembered. A higher pitch but the same laugh. Telling him he had been used again, that she knew it. That she also knew that he had ached for it somewhere in the recesses of his psyche. 

‘Mmmmmissy.’ His eyes were closed as he still held her against the console. Only when her hands were against his chest, shoving him back did he let her go and stumbled back. In a daze, he fell back into the chair, spent but happy. ‘Happy again.’ 

She rolled her neck and looked at him. ‘For now. Drink the tea and then you can leave. I have things I want to do.’

His long fingers took hold of the now-cooled tea and he drank it quickly. ‘Hate when you sober me up fast.’ The Doctor grumbled as he felt the brew cut through the fog of his mind, taking the few moments it took for the tea to work on him to fix his clothes. ‘One day you’ll let me sober slow.’

‘Not any time soon.’ She was sliding her leather trousers back up and then tidying up her blouse. ‘Agree to fuck me when you start sober and then maybe we’ll do more than just a quickie.’

The Doctor, steadier now, got up from the chair and managed to rest a hand on her cheek for a moment before she shot him a glare and pushed him away. Never changes, he thought. A quick smile and he turned to leave her TARDIS. There’d be other times. Maybe even sober one day.


End file.
